(Centrury Media) Total Time: 57:21
Oh what fun we’re going to have, here, in the smurf village!!! Turisas is a new bargain, that became jealous of Ukranian Ruslana with her leather outfit and her ballet in Eurovision and decided to put their grandiose plans into action. First they went to every neighboring cloak-room in search of appropriate clothing, in order to make their primal combative inclinations obvious. Next, full of joy, like young children getting dressed up for Halloween, they went into the woods to play, where they constructed a wooden stand over which they placed the furs from the wild beasts that fell dead from their lethal weapons (from what I can make out, they must have killed three badgers, one ferret and a rabbit). After that, they started a frenzied feast after the sudden appearance of wooden cups and musical instruments (some plastic pans and something that resembles a flute) and as time passed having fun around the gigantic fire, suddenly one kid has an idea:
“What about forming a band?”
“And what kind of music should we play?” said another.
“Let’s play something warlike,” replied another.
“Okay, but none of us knows how to play any instrument,” replied sorrowfully the first one that had the bright idea.
“No problem,” reassured them the leader of the company pompously, “my father has a program in his pc with which even an impertinent can compose music.”
“Really?” exclaimed all the party in unison.
“Not only that, but he has some albums of BAL SAGOTH, FINTROLL, EIHERJER and of many more metal bands, so we can borrow some ideas from,” the leader assured them.
And God created TURISAS.
And then “Battle metal” came to light.
And now I have to describe this absolute saga (this is what the band has to say for themselves: “the songs recorded are all very pagan battle metal” of fake metal music.
No way.
1 - (just for the laugh of it)
